NOH8!

*Monique voice* YASSSSSS BAYBEH!!! Who's inviting me to a fabulous gay wedding. If it's not exactly like the one on Sex and the City 2 I will be highly upset. *waits*

The Warrior Daniel Sotomayor

A few weeks ago I was flipping through channels, wasting time and trying to avoid going to bed (because that would mean it was almost time for work. Sad face). Anyway, I happened to flip past PBS and saw they were playing a documentary on Chicago's gay and lesbian history. It was very enjoyable (I'm a nerd who likes documentaries), but one segment that stood out was footage showing activist Daniel Sotomayor screaming!

"Living with AIDS in this country is like living through a war

 that's happening only for those in the trenches."

"Every time a shell explodes you look around to discover that

you've lost more of your friends. But nobody else notices,

it isn't happening to them."-Vito Russo

Daniel Sotomayor was an open gay politcal cartoonist and AIDS activist. He grew up in the Humboldt Park area of Illinois, and was a victim of abuse and homophobia. After escaping the neighborhood and obtaining a degree from Columbia College, he was finally on his way to reaching his personal and professional goals when his sudden AIDS diagnosis in 1988 changed the direction of his life. He joined ACTUP/Chicago, and through protests with the group and through his political cartoons, confronted Chicago politicians and even other AIDS activists about the inadequate HIV/AIDS education and prevention programs. He died in 1992, just four years after his diagnosis. He was inducted into Chicago's Gay & Lesbian Hall of Fame later that same year.

Chicago Reader

"Daniel's relentless pursuit of the truth helped him to live his life with a consistency of eithic that most of us can only aspire towards. In doning so, he changed forever our definition of 'leader'."-From CGLH

Come On Out!

It's finally happening. The first Red Pump Project event is happening! Here's the flyer...hope to see y'all there! Here's where to go for info, tickets, and if you want to donate *puppy dog eyes* --> http://www.redpumpoutloud.eventbrite.com/

A Brief Sidebar...But Not Really

First, a moment of silence. My old faithful computer (loving named Dellia last week when I was trying to coax her into working) seems to have given up the ghost...with 2 or 3 blogs I'd already prepared on it. :( Since I can't post from my phone, things may be a little slow around here for a little while. *Pours out a little OJ in Rememberance*

When I originally started this blog, it was to address mental health/self esteem issues to those living with HIV/AIDS as well as family members and caretakers. But I wanted it to be more of a retreat, not necessarily a clinic deal where you learn about medicines and doctors. Every woman, regardless of their status, should have a place to go where they can relax; both mentally and physically. Thus, Project Nefertiti was born. Even I'm still shaping what I want this space to become, I love being able to contribute to the fight in my own way.

Now, speaking of fighting...ladies..how many times have you fought that little voice in your head telling you to sit down and rest? Or go to the doctor? Or tell someone NO? I'm still working on it myself. The biggest problem I probably have is telling people no. I can be exhausted beyond all meaning of the word but if someone asks me to help them I'll keep pushing..and if I work up the gumption to say no, I feel guilty about it for pretty much the rest of the day.

For a lot of women, that kind of guilt builds up until they are walking around depressed and because of the stigmata attached to receiving treatment in the African American community, we don't really address the issue. I mean, we'll talk to our pastor or friends or family, but if they're depressed too...?

The fact of the matter is, like HIV/AIDS with stats like this: http://www.nami.org/Content/ContentGroups/MIO/Fact_Sheets1/AA_MH_Diparities_04.pdf and this: http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/cre/fact1.asp the need for conversation is long overdue. While we are overhauling our health care system, it is my hope that a huge push is made towards providing care for those that need more than a band aid.

Letter to My People Part 1

Because May is Mental Health Awareness month, I wanted to address a few things that are happening (or not happening) within the black community. This letter will be the first part. Stay with me...

Dear Black Women,

 I feel for you. I'm one of you. There are so many things the world expects from us and even more we expect from ourselves. We have high hopes and tough standards. When we fall short, we beat ourselves up because we feel that we aren't supposed to make mistakes. But we it's hurting us more than we know.

We seek men that will love us for who we are, challenge us, and won't complain when we buy too many pairs of shoes or fall into a funky "mood". The world, however, says we aren't likely to find our prince charming. So again, we blame ourselves. Am I too brusque? Did I do enough for him? Did I love enough? Did I emasculate him?

We are taught to be the backbone of our communit, but sometimes the weight seems too heavy. We're told not to complain but we want to scream until someone, ANYONE listens to us. But not only listen, feel for us. When our bodies tell us to get some rest we ignore it. If we're laid up, who's going to run the household?

Black women, I'm speaking to you as wel as to myself. You are some of the most beautiful, passionate, spirited women on the face of the earth. You possess a certain something that cannot be explained, nor can it be duplicated. You are worthy of all the love you desire and more just for being you. When we begin to see that in ourselves, others will too.

World Give Day 2010 with @WorldGiveDay & @GiveFoward!

Hello Beauties!

Today is World Give Day 2010! Giving should be a big part of EVERYONE'S lives as there is nothing better to give and see how much another appreciates it. I, for one, am addicted to it. But I digress. World Give Day is a day where everyone in the world comes together to help the causes that matter to them most. This awesome awarness day was birthed by Give Foward, a site started to provide individuals and organizations an easier way to raise money for causes and 2010 is the first time this day is being recognized! Check out the World Give Day Facebook page here: http://bit.ly/dxGLQh, the website here: http://www.worldgiveday.com/, and follow both the World Give Day and GiveFoward Twitter pages: @WorldGiveDay, @GiveForward. And most importantly, get out and give!

Recognizing Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April is drawing to a close and I can't believe I'm just addressing SAAM, however while reading various articles (I'll put some links at the bottom of the post) I knew I had to shed some light on the subject here at Project Nefertiti. April 2001 was the first nationally recognized Sexual Assault Awareness Month. However, organized movement began in England about 30 years ago...

In the late '70's, there was an increasing amount of sexually actuated violence against women walking the streets at night. These acts, along with the emerging Women's Liberation movement (which began in the US in the late '60's), led to Take Back the Night (1), a womens only protest against sexual violence. Over time, the movement has stretched to include violence against men, and men's participation in ending sexual violence.

1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Every 2 minutes, someone in the US is sexually assaulted. 60% of assaults are not reported. (2)

So what can we do? I found a few tips online to share:

Protect ourselves: If you are walking alone, even in day light, make sure your surroundings and do not become isolated.

Protect our children: It's a sickening fact that 15% of sexual assault/rape victims are children under the age of 12. (3) But there are some things you can do to help prevent this. Talk to your children, and make sure they know from a young age to speak up if they feel uncomfortable about the way an adult is acting towards them. Teach them to say NO! Above that, be involved in your child's life. What adult is going to try something funny with you standing there giving them the side-eye?

Speak up: If you are assaulted, it's going to be hard to talk about. However, by speaking up you can prevent someone from going through the same thing you did. I was assaulted when I was 5 years old by some boys in my neighborhood and again by a baby-sitters son when I was 9. Before I typed that sentence, no one but God and I knew about it. Now, I don't know if any of them went on to assault someone else but if I ever found out one of them did, I would feel SO guilty. Remember, 60% of assaults are not reported. (2)

Be there: If you have a loved one that is dealing with the effects of a sexual assault, it is most important that you be there to listen, empower, and encourage. Also, don't be afraid to talk to someone yourself for moral support. This is going to be tough to deal with for everyone involved, so you'll want to make sure you're able support in any way possible.

Here are some links for you to check out...be safe y'all!

http://takebackthenight.org/
http://rainn.org/
http://bit.ly/9xgPdj
http://wasaam.org/
http://www.nsvrc.org/saam
http://www.justyellfire.com/






Sources:

(1) http://takebackthenight.org/
(2) http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sums/172837.htm
(3) http://www.icpsr.umich.edu/cocoon/NACJD/STUDY/22900.xml

News You Should Know

Hello Beauties!

I'm finally in semi good health after practically hacking up both lungs and a spleen! Oh joy, oh rapture! Anyways, I felt bad for neglecting this so while I'm getting my rusty affairs in order (I still haven't filed my taxes... *looks at calendar*) check out some newsworthy items from around the world:

Blood Donation Policy is Outdated: One man states why he thinks there should be an overhaul of our current blood donation guidelines: http://bit.ly/bl11R9

New Approach to HIV cure: I am side-eyeing this a bit, but take a look and form your own opinion: http://bit.ly/d1N67c

Where Is the National Strategy on AIDS?: A blog entry outlining a little about what's been said about AIDS in regards to health care reform: http://bit.ly/c0bW8J

She Reminded Me Why I Do This...

Hello Everyone(s)!

Let me get into a little personal story. Gather 'round...

A couple days ago I was texting back and forth with one of my friends while on Twitter. My friend, (we'll call her K) was telling me that she was waiting for her ex to come over so that she could take a pregnancy test. Before I go any further, let me tell you a lil bit about K.

I met K about...five years ago when we were both still flipping burgers at McDonalds. We were kind of a close knit crew at the job so it took a minute for us to let her in, but once we realized how crazy and fun she was, we became friends.

On top of being crazy, fun, and sweet (I wouldn't say that to her face though lol), K is SO boy crazy, and has an almost “male” outlook on sex and dating most of the time. The stories she tells me sometimes has me clutching my pearls and my bible. I’m always telling her that she has a 20 year old guy trapped inside of her. Anyways, five years later we’re still cool and I consider her to be one of my best friends. However, along with me telling her that she has a man trapped inside of her, I’m also always telling her to BE CAREFUL.

K loves guys/sex so much that her view on safe sex is pretty much “if there’s a condom there I’ll use it, if not, I’mma get it in anyways.” Now, if you’re sure your partner is safe, has been tested and is negative, or if you don’t mind having a little one running around by ALL means do you boo boo {No Katt Williams}. HOWEVER, K’s ex-boyfriend is 1) A jailbird, 2) already has kids he can’t take care of 3) doesn’t have a job and usually has to scrape together bus fare to come see her, 4) K doesn’t want any kids. Oh yeah, and he has to “come see her” because they were living together, but he’d always come up short on rent leaving her with all the responsibility. She hasn't been tested and I HIGHLY doubt he has.

The question I feel like screaming at her is WHY (!!!) is THIS the man you get pregnant by and have to have an abortion (twice!!). What is so hard about using a condom y’all? I mean, like, is it hard to put on? I know they’re expensive, but can you not get like…a whole bag FREE at any health clinic? I have a handful at the house expiring because I don’t have a boo right now! She isn’t a dumb person…but her decision making skills are definitely in question o_O.

This weekend K definitely reminded me why I joined the Red Pump Project and why I started this blog. As I sent the last text telling her to be careful and to let me know how things turned out, I felt a little helpless, but I hope that my work will eventually inspire her to be safer and to care for herself a little more. It may have even inspired me to work a little harder.

500 in 50 & NWGHAAD!

Hello everyone! *beauty queen wave*

I've missed you. I'm currently battling the second cold in as many weeks (*throws tantrum, knocks over vitamin c*) so I haven't been online. However, today is National Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day AND The Red Pump Projects' 1st birthday, so I had to make an appearance!

I've shared with you all why I rock the red pump (haven't seen it? First o_O. Second, go read it now). And I will continue to do so because I hope that I can help save someone else from the heart ache of knowing they have it, or someone they know has it. I continue to pray for a cure, as well as awareness. My hope is that I can make a difference in my community, and that The Red Pump Project changes lives around the world.

Every 9 1/2 minutes someone is diagnosed with HIV. HIV/AIDS is the leading cause of death for african-american women aged 25-34. I've said this before. We are better than this. Get tested and be safe. I love you all.




Check out these sites to enjoy posts from other Red Pump rockers!:

http://www.theredpumpproject.com/
http://blackisbreezie.blogspot.com/
http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/
http://www.thefabulousgiver.com/
http://www.afrobella.com/
http://www.raelewisthornton.com/


I'll be updating as the days goes on... and stayed tuned for events in Jacksonville. As soon as I'm germ free.