Come On Out!

It's finally happening. The first Red Pump Project event is happening! Here's the flyer...hope to see y'all there! Here's where to go for info, tickets, and if you want to donate *puppy dog eyes* --> http://www.redpumpoutloud.eventbrite.com/

A Brief Sidebar...But Not Really

First, a moment of silence. My old faithful computer (loving named Dellia last week when I was trying to coax her into working) seems to have given up the ghost...with 2 or 3 blogs I'd already prepared on it. :( Since I can't post from my phone, things may be a little slow around here for a little while. *Pours out a little OJ in Rememberance*

When I originally started this blog, it was to address mental health/self esteem issues to those living with HIV/AIDS as well as family members and caretakers. But I wanted it to be more of a retreat, not necessarily a clinic deal where you learn about medicines and doctors. Every woman, regardless of their status, should have a place to go where they can relax; both mentally and physically. Thus, Project Nefertiti was born. Even I'm still shaping what I want this space to become, I love being able to contribute to the fight in my own way.

Now, speaking of fighting...ladies..how many times have you fought that little voice in your head telling you to sit down and rest? Or go to the doctor? Or tell someone NO? I'm still working on it myself. The biggest problem I probably have is telling people no. I can be exhausted beyond all meaning of the word but if someone asks me to help them I'll keep pushing..and if I work up the gumption to say no, I feel guilty about it for pretty much the rest of the day.

For a lot of women, that kind of guilt builds up until they are walking around depressed and because of the stigmata attached to receiving treatment in the African American community, we don't really address the issue. I mean, we'll talk to our pastor or friends or family, but if they're depressed too...?

The fact of the matter is, like HIV/AIDS with stats like this: http://www.nami.org/Content/ContentGroups/MIO/Fact_Sheets1/AA_MH_Diparities_04.pdf and this: http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/cre/fact1.asp the need for conversation is long overdue. While we are overhauling our health care system, it is my hope that a huge push is made towards providing care for those that need more than a band aid.

Letter to My People Part 1

Because May is Mental Health Awareness month, I wanted to address a few things that are happening (or not happening) within the black community. This letter will be the first part. Stay with me...

Dear Black Women,

 I feel for you. I'm one of you. There are so many things the world expects from us and even more we expect from ourselves. We have high hopes and tough standards. When we fall short, we beat ourselves up because we feel that we aren't supposed to make mistakes. But we it's hurting us more than we know.

We seek men that will love us for who we are, challenge us, and won't complain when we buy too many pairs of shoes or fall into a funky "mood". The world, however, says we aren't likely to find our prince charming. So again, we blame ourselves. Am I too brusque? Did I do enough for him? Did I love enough? Did I emasculate him?

We are taught to be the backbone of our communit, but sometimes the weight seems too heavy. We're told not to complain but we want to scream until someone, ANYONE listens to us. But not only listen, feel for us. When our bodies tell us to get some rest we ignore it. If we're laid up, who's going to run the household?

Black women, I'm speaking to you as wel as to myself. You are some of the most beautiful, passionate, spirited women on the face of the earth. You possess a certain something that cannot be explained, nor can it be duplicated. You are worthy of all the love you desire and more just for being you. When we begin to see that in ourselves, others will too.

World Give Day 2010 with @WorldGiveDay & @GiveFoward!

Hello Beauties!

Today is World Give Day 2010! Giving should be a big part of EVERYONE'S lives as there is nothing better to give and see how much another appreciates it. I, for one, am addicted to it. But I digress. World Give Day is a day where everyone in the world comes together to help the causes that matter to them most. This awesome awarness day was birthed by Give Foward, a site started to provide individuals and organizations an easier way to raise money for causes and 2010 is the first time this day is being recognized! Check out the World Give Day Facebook page here: http://bit.ly/dxGLQh, the website here: http://www.worldgiveday.com/, and follow both the World Give Day and GiveFoward Twitter pages: @WorldGiveDay, @GiveForward. And most importantly, get out and give!

Recognizing Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April is drawing to a close and I can't believe I'm just addressing SAAM, however while reading various articles (I'll put some links at the bottom of the post) I knew I had to shed some light on the subject here at Project Nefertiti. April 2001 was the first nationally recognized Sexual Assault Awareness Month. However, organized movement began in England about 30 years ago...

In the late '70's, there was an increasing amount of sexually actuated violence against women walking the streets at night. These acts, along with the emerging Women's Liberation movement (which began in the US in the late '60's), led to Take Back the Night (1), a womens only protest against sexual violence. Over time, the movement has stretched to include violence against men, and men's participation in ending sexual violence.

1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Every 2 minutes, someone in the US is sexually assaulted. 60% of assaults are not reported. (2)

So what can we do? I found a few tips online to share:

Protect ourselves: If you are walking alone, even in day light, make sure your surroundings and do not become isolated.

Protect our children: It's a sickening fact that 15% of sexual assault/rape victims are children under the age of 12. (3) But there are some things you can do to help prevent this. Talk to your children, and make sure they know from a young age to speak up if they feel uncomfortable about the way an adult is acting towards them. Teach them to say NO! Above that, be involved in your child's life. What adult is going to try something funny with you standing there giving them the side-eye?

Speak up: If you are assaulted, it's going to be hard to talk about. However, by speaking up you can prevent someone from going through the same thing you did. I was assaulted when I was 5 years old by some boys in my neighborhood and again by a baby-sitters son when I was 9. Before I typed that sentence, no one but God and I knew about it. Now, I don't know if any of them went on to assault someone else but if I ever found out one of them did, I would feel SO guilty. Remember, 60% of assaults are not reported. (2)

Be there: If you have a loved one that is dealing with the effects of a sexual assault, it is most important that you be there to listen, empower, and encourage. Also, don't be afraid to talk to someone yourself for moral support. This is going to be tough to deal with for everyone involved, so you'll want to make sure you're able support in any way possible.

Here are some links for you to check out...be safe y'all!

http://takebackthenight.org/
http://rainn.org/
http://bit.ly/9xgPdj
http://wasaam.org/
http://www.nsvrc.org/saam
http://www.justyellfire.com/






Sources:

(1) http://takebackthenight.org/
(2) http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sums/172837.htm
(3) http://www.icpsr.umich.edu/cocoon/NACJD/STUDY/22900.xml

News You Should Know

Hello Beauties!

I'm finally in semi good health after practically hacking up both lungs and a spleen! Oh joy, oh rapture! Anyways, I felt bad for neglecting this so while I'm getting my rusty affairs in order (I still haven't filed my taxes... *looks at calendar*) check out some newsworthy items from around the world:

Blood Donation Policy is Outdated: One man states why he thinks there should be an overhaul of our current blood donation guidelines: http://bit.ly/bl11R9

New Approach to HIV cure: I am side-eyeing this a bit, but take a look and form your own opinion: http://bit.ly/d1N67c

Where Is the National Strategy on AIDS?: A blog entry outlining a little about what's been said about AIDS in regards to health care reform: http://bit.ly/c0bW8J

She Reminded Me Why I Do This...

Hello Everyone(s)!

Let me get into a little personal story. Gather 'round...

A couple days ago I was texting back and forth with one of my friends while on Twitter. My friend, (we'll call her K) was telling me that she was waiting for her ex to come over so that she could take a pregnancy test. Before I go any further, let me tell you a lil bit about K.

I met K about...five years ago when we were both still flipping burgers at McDonalds. We were kind of a close knit crew at the job so it took a minute for us to let her in, but once we realized how crazy and fun she was, we became friends.

On top of being crazy, fun, and sweet (I wouldn't say that to her face though lol), K is SO boy crazy, and has an almost “male” outlook on sex and dating most of the time. The stories she tells me sometimes has me clutching my pearls and my bible. I’m always telling her that she has a 20 year old guy trapped inside of her. Anyways, five years later we’re still cool and I consider her to be one of my best friends. However, along with me telling her that she has a man trapped inside of her, I’m also always telling her to BE CAREFUL.

K loves guys/sex so much that her view on safe sex is pretty much “if there’s a condom there I’ll use it, if not, I’mma get it in anyways.” Now, if you’re sure your partner is safe, has been tested and is negative, or if you don’t mind having a little one running around by ALL means do you boo boo {No Katt Williams}. HOWEVER, K’s ex-boyfriend is 1) A jailbird, 2) already has kids he can’t take care of 3) doesn’t have a job and usually has to scrape together bus fare to come see her, 4) K doesn’t want any kids. Oh yeah, and he has to “come see her” because they were living together, but he’d always come up short on rent leaving her with all the responsibility. She hasn't been tested and I HIGHLY doubt he has.

The question I feel like screaming at her is WHY (!!!) is THIS the man you get pregnant by and have to have an abortion (twice!!). What is so hard about using a condom y’all? I mean, like, is it hard to put on? I know they’re expensive, but can you not get like…a whole bag FREE at any health clinic? I have a handful at the house expiring because I don’t have a boo right now! She isn’t a dumb person…but her decision making skills are definitely in question o_O.

This weekend K definitely reminded me why I joined the Red Pump Project and why I started this blog. As I sent the last text telling her to be careful and to let me know how things turned out, I felt a little helpless, but I hope that my work will eventually inspire her to be safer and to care for herself a little more. It may have even inspired me to work a little harder.

500 in 50 & NWGHAAD!

Hello everyone! *beauty queen wave*

I've missed you. I'm currently battling the second cold in as many weeks (*throws tantrum, knocks over vitamin c*) so I haven't been online. However, today is National Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day AND The Red Pump Projects' 1st birthday, so I had to make an appearance!

I've shared with you all why I rock the red pump (haven't seen it? First o_O. Second, go read it now). And I will continue to do so because I hope that I can help save someone else from the heart ache of knowing they have it, or someone they know has it. I continue to pray for a cure, as well as awareness. My hope is that I can make a difference in my community, and that The Red Pump Project changes lives around the world.

Every 9 1/2 minutes someone is diagnosed with HIV. HIV/AIDS is the leading cause of death for african-american women aged 25-34. I've said this before. We are better than this. Get tested and be safe. I love you all.




Check out these sites to enjoy posts from other Red Pump rockers!:

http://www.theredpumpproject.com/
http://blackisbreezie.blogspot.com/
http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/
http://www.thefabulousgiver.com/
http://www.afrobella.com/
http://www.raelewisthornton.com/


I'll be updating as the days goes on... and stayed tuned for events in Jacksonville. As soon as I'm germ free.

Compliments of the Serpent--Exploring the Epidemic with @KCAFilms

Hello Beauties!

Let me start off by saying Twitter, though sometimes a place where all the crazies seem to join together and spew foolishness, is a wonderful tool. Through our Twitter page (click the link on the side bar), I learned about KCA Films and their project Compliments of the Serpent.

We communicated a bit. I was nosy (lol) so I went to their site and was greeted with a trailer for the film. I was intrigued. So, here's some information on straight from the source: Elsie Nwankwo, Executive Producer, and Novella Nelson, lead actress.

What is Compliments of the Serpent about?

   Elsie Nwankwo: I think our synopsis says it perfectly: Barbara and Mike Stanton, a middle-aged, African- American couple, endure the stresses of a strained marriage. When one of them visits the doctor for a routine examination, the couple receives news that alters their relationship forever.

Why was this film made and why is it important?

   Elsie Nwankwo: Compliments of the Serpent aims to increase HIV and AIDS awareness while provoking discussions about the disease's effect on the black community. According to CDC data, while African-Americans are only 13 percent of the U.S. population, they account for over 50 percent of the estimated 40,000 new HIV infections each year. In addition, black senior citizens represent more than 50 percent of HIV cases amongst persons older than 55.

                              

Mike (Roscoe Orman) and Barbara Stanton (Novella Nelson)

What do you hope people will take from this film?

   Novella Nelson: Well, hopefully it is to educate people of the importance of checking your health and knowing your HIV status. When you are in a relationship, you really need to communicate and not keep secrets, especially when it deals with your health.

   Elsie Nwankwo: Absolutely! If we can get people to be open about their ignorance regarding HIV and face their fears then I think we've made a difference with our film.

 

Barbara Stanton (Novella Nelson)

What was your favorite part about making this film??

   Novella Nelson: (laughs) I liked the concept of the script which is what brought me into it intially. I think my favorite part was in the beginning, the potental for communication about HIV. I also enjoyed wearing a mink coat and working with Roscoe Orman, of course.

   Elsie Nwankwo: The whole process was an eye-opening experience for me. This was my first project and I'm so grateful to have worked with such a professional cast and crew.

What are your plans for after the film?

   Elsie Nwankwo: We're working on getting Compliments of the Serpent into film festivals. We're also trying to organize community screenings of the film nationwide. I'm also doing some research for my next project, a documentary that will be filmed in Africa.

   Novella Nelson: I just finished shooting a film called It's Kind of A Funny Story with the directors of Half Nelson and Sugar. I'm doing another episode of Glenn Close's TV show, "Damages." I have roles in Did You Hear About the Morgans? and The Last Airbender. I am also developing some projects that don't necessarily have me acting.

Images courtesy of KCA Films. To view a trailer, or find out more about the film, please visit http://www.kcafilms.com and check them out on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/kcafilms

Disproportionate.

Disproportionate: Out of proportion, as in size or number.

Synonyms: Unreasonable, too much, unequal, excessive.

I research articles and such for this blog pretty frequently, and though I know the statistics, it never hit me until a few days ago how often the word disproportionate is used in reference to African-Americans and HIV. It also hit me how often I read or hear that word. Which, is like....never. Pretty much the only time I hear that word is in reference to African-Americans and HIV.

So, if you haven't done your homework (*side eye*) or if this is your first time here at Project Nefertiti (Hey BOO!) or even if you've been here before (you still have to read this *side eye again*) let me give you some stats: according to the CDC (Center for Disease Control) African-Americans make up for about 13% of the US population; however, they make up for 49% of new HIV/AIDS infections. To break that down even further, HIV/AIDS is the leading cause of death for African-Americans, and of all women who have HIV, black women make up about 67% of them. O_O.

So the word disproportionate works perfectly here doesn't it? But who wants to be a statistic? Not me. Instead of setting records for the population group with the most HIV infections, why can't we be the group with a disproportionate amount of college grads? Or the group that made the most advances in technology, or healthcare research or ANYTHING ELSE?

There are many reasons why African-Americans are greatly affected by HIV/AIDS. And even with the information available to us, I know for a fact a lot of black people don't really believe they can get HIV and do next to nothing to protect themselves. We've got to come together as a race and educate ourselves, protect ourselves, and educate others. With stats like these, an impact in our community is an impact on EVERY community.

Today is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. So black men and women (and everyone ones, everyones) when you have the opportunity, maybe instead of talking about that new outfit you bought last weekend or what club you went to, talk about getting tested. (Women....come on. I know we talk about WAAAY worse stuff when we get together O_o). As always: educate yourself, get tested, and be safe.

For information about National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, or to find a testing site, check out these sites:

http://www.hivtest.org/

http://www.hhs.gov/aidsawarenessdays/days/black/index.html

http://www.blackaids.org/

http://www.blackaidsday.org/